I’ve always gotten my hair done for my birthday, just about every year since I can remember. I’ve gone through lots of different styles over the years. Hair is important for Black women (just in case you didn’t know). I’ve spent tons of time and money making sure my hair is fly, whether I’m headed to the grocery store or a night out, the hair must look good. Honestly, it has secretly bothered me and gets annoying sometimes; making sure every hair is in its place just to leave the house.. Ugh! One year I even shaved it off completely, that was a crazy journey as well.
This year is Chapter 47 (omg, how did I get this old) and I’m spending it in Costa Rica where I now call home. I’ve left behind the Western way of living and have chosen to adopt a Pura Vida lifestyle, and to top it all off I live on the Caribbean side of the country that has a huge Jamaican influence. There’s lots of Rastafarians roaming around with their hair locked, and I thought it was time I joined the club.
Deciding to get locks is a personal decision and a journey in its own right. There were lots of emotions going into this style. I had just settled into my purple braids, why would I decide to switch it up now. Well, I’m always growing and evolving, it was time my hairstyle followed suit. I’ve always loved being able to have long hair whenever I wanted with braids, and even when I had my regular short hair, it was always relaxed so that it would be straight (Black girl problems). Getting my hair locked meant that it would not start out long, and it would not be straight. And I was starting to feel some kinda way about that.
This decision did not come easy. There were lots of doubts (still are) and lots of questions. Would I look like a man? Would people mistake me for a lesbian? Would men still find me attractive? Am I ever going to find my Soulmate with this short matted look? And the list goes on and on. Why do I associate my hair and looks with relationships, or rather my lack of one? Silly I know but if I’m being honest these questions still run around in the back of my mind. To be 47 years old, not married and no children, humph, my worries are valid. Society has always made me feel a little “less than average” because I don’t have these things, and although I walk with my head held high, sometimes the crown gets heavy.
This is not what I had planned for my life. I was telling someone recently that when I was younger I wanted to be married with 5 kids, 5 boys, so I could have my own basketball team, Go Lakers! (Bigup to my birthday twin, Kobe, RIH). I wanted to be the wife that had dinner ready for her hubby when he came home, and I wanted to be the mom sitting in the front row at her kids basketball games. I get emotional just thinking about it and sometimes still grieve what I never had. Don’t get me wrong I am living my best Black life here in Costa Rica, but a family of my own will always be one of my heart's desires. So since having a family of my own is not in my cards (right now) and I’m living this non-traditional life, might as well go with a hairstyle to compliment breaking away from the “norm”.
The decision to get locks has a significant meaning for me...
Spiritually; I am strengthening my connection to God. The Crown Chakra is located at the top of the head and releasing the need to add more hair to make mine look longer and forgoing the chemicals that I used to straighten my hair, will help me to better connect to Source and Mother Nature in a deeper way. Physically; my head feels lighter and my neck feels stronger. The braids were heavy after a while and although I know my locks will grow, for now I need to walk with lightness. Emotionally; I am embracing my own natural beauty. I need to believe that I am still beautiful inside and out. And that whenever my Soulmate decides to reveal himself, he’ll recognize my natural authentic Soul not the facade. Mentally; I am invested in something that will take time to grow. And I am learning to be okay with starting with my baby locks, watching them grow, appreciating the process and enjoying the journey.
Making the move to Costa Rica has been a whirlwind of emotions. Each day that passes I learn more about myself, and continue to love myself through this crazy adventure called life, so why not add a new hairstyle to seal the deal.
Have you ever had locks before? Do you have a “hair” story? I’d love to hear, please feel free to share.
Lastly, if you are looking for support and guidance on your own spiritual journey, let’s chat. Round two of my two month virtual group coaching program will be starting soon, and it ends with a healing retreat in person in Costa Rica. Schedule your FREE discovery call today to find out more or check out my webite: www.yougotmel.org
In the meantime, peace, love and hair grease :)